tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27973132173354232632024-02-06T23:00:15.268-06:00Tatum VerbatimI'm a TV news reporter with a love for words and a passion for storytelling. This blog is where I tell the kind of stories I can't tell on TV... and with that witty, sometimes raucous and irreverent style I'm known for.
Tatum Verbatim! My words! My way!Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-5666203979224507552011-02-04T10:15:00.006-06:002011-02-05T10:31:33.803-06:00Why Do Reporters Always Interview People with No Teeth? The office was dull and dark and bore an early1970s look. The wood paneling that adorned its walls made the room feel much smaller than it actually was. The inside of the building told far more about its age than the outside did. <br />
<br />
It was a gorgeous spring Friday morning in 2004 and I was a bit uneasy as I sat in front of the desk, facing a rather robust woman with what, to me, was clearly a bottle-blond color job. She was nice enough but the clock is always working against reporters and I knew I needed to get to work and start chasing my story for the day. I had stopped here on my way to work - with my bosses permission - to change my auto insurance policy. <br />
<br />
The bottle blond was somewhat attentive to my presence but was focused on the task at hand. She asked all the standard questions: "Name? Address? Make and Model of your car?" <br />
<br />
She rattled them off in rapid-fire succession, faster than I could fire back. I could tell she knew the insurance industry backward, forward and sideways. <em>"But she's not much of a conversationalist,"</em> I thought to myself. <br />
<br />
That changed when I responed to her next question. <br />
<br />
"Who's your employer?"<br />
<br />
"ABC 33/40," I quipped. <br />
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ABC 33/40 is a highly acclaimed television station in Birmingham, Alabama and I was proud for people to know I worked there.<br />
<br />
"Oh really! What do you do there?" <br />
<br />
I sensed she was impressed and immediately my ego kicked into overdrive.<br />
<br />
"I'm a reporer," I said.<br />
<br />
"Really? Did you cover that tornado that touched down in the White Plains community a couple of weeks ago?" <br />
<br />
White Plains is a tiny town about an hour east of Birmingham.<br />
<br />
"Yes mam, I sure did." I was beaming.<br />
<br />
I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that there are certain questions people always ask reporters when they meet them. The most popular is... well, you'll see in a moment.<br />
<br />
"Can I just ask you one question?" <br />
<br />
I was sure I knew where this was going. The tornado story was still fresh in my mind and I remembered the rough looking woman I had interviewed whose mobile home had been destroyed.<br />
<br />
"Let me guess," I interrupted her. "You want to know why we always interview women with no teeth after a tornado." I was prepared to answer that question. I was <em>not</em> prepared for her reply.<br />
<br />
"Actually, that was my sister," she explained, a bit embarrassed now. "I was just wandering how we could get a copy of y'all's story."<br />
<br />
"Oh shit!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.. <br />
<br />
I wanted to laugh but felt closer to crying. I had been asked the question about people with no teeth so many times. <em> "Floor,open up and swallow me,"</em> I quickly and quiety wished.<br />
<br />
I had imbedded my foot so deeply in my mouth I thought I would choke on toe jam. To her credit, the bottle blond was gracious about it. I apologized. She accepted. I left her office a little humbled that day.<br />
<br />
Of course that only lasted until I got to work. Boy did I have one hell of a story to tell!Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-50166229912782355572011-02-03T09:56:00.001-06:002011-02-03T21:38:15.809-06:00A Meeting Over Coffee<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"> “Damnit!” snapped the lady in blue.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Miss, can you help me here?” called a male voice, the body from which I came I could not determine.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On and on it went as I stood in the grocery store’s self check-out line with my two items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“These scanners are not that hard to operate," </i>I considered shouting aloud but smartly, didn't.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were four self check-outs at this particular store and someone was using each of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A long line was starting to form and I was about sixth or seventh deep in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In front of me, one woman had a full – no, a very full – shopping cart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly my mad dash to the store to get coffee and creamer– <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>essentials to starting my day – wasn’t going to be quick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, my day was now getting off to an annoying start without a drop of caffeine in my system to calm me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I first looked about the area for any sign that might limit the number of items one should bring through the self check-out and was prepared to point it out to that woman with the shopping cart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Damn,” I mumbled to myself when I didn’t see one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then scanned the front of the store in search of a shorter, cashier check-out line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The two that were open also had long lines. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what really stood out to me was that out of what looked like 8 or 10 of those regular check-outs, ONLY two were staffed with a cashier. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sure enough chaffed my yet-to-be-caffeinated ass.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Aw shit!” bellowed a deep voice from behind me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned to see a well dressed man just as he rounded the corner and I assumed that groan of frustration had come from him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also had coffee in hand – Maxwell House French Roast – and a big bottle of Hazelnut creamer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he and I were on the same morning <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hunt <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and were both now snared in the same trap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spotted me and we immediately started a conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What the hell’s going on here,” he asked.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hardly any check outs open.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Have you noticed how bad customer service has gotten, everywhere?</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I really hadn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was early 2010 and the economy had been souring for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as I quickly surveyed my mind for a response to his question I realized… “Yes!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I blurted out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Customer service sucks, these days.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You should do a story about it,” he suggested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“This store is saving a lot of money by operating with a skeleton crew and yet the price of groceries is going up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t see them sharing those savings with us.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew he was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to think of other inconveniences I had endured in recent months; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About how there’s nothing fast about fast food anymore; how even service at a nice restaurant is seldom what it used to be; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>how when managers minimally staff their businesses, especially busy ones like grocery stores and restaurants, it puts more pressure on their poorly paid workers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those workers get stressed and customers who feel inconvenienced often take their frustrations out on them, making them cranky toward <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all </i>customers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suddenly felt sorry for them. </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned to the man with whom I’d been chatting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You know what I think?” </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s that?”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I think this store doesn’t deserve my business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not today, anyway.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He agreed.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“There’s a coffee shop right up the street and I really need a quick fix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wanna join me?”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Absolutely.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We both sat our coffee and creamer atop the display at the front of the store and walked out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would estimate our combined purchases wouldn’t have netted more than $7 for the store’s coffers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That small shortage certainly wouldn’t put them of business.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But on that cold February morning it felt like a victory; like two ordinary people took on a giant corporation and won.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking back, we DIDN’T make any difference in how companies treat their customers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But one year ago today, we DID each make a new friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks Mike!</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-5195209807599884972011-02-02T09:50:00.004-06:002011-02-02T10:53:12.174-06:00Real, Raw, Human Emotion - The Sweetest Thing on Earth To me, there is nothing more beautiful that real, raw human emotion. When we strip off all the layers of self righteousness and image-concious crap we adorn ourselves with - all the garbage that hides who we really are - we find we're really all the same. We all cry; worry; fear; hurt; bleed... That's humanity in it simplest form. I'm ashamed to admit that I once forgot what it meant to share that human connection.<br />
<br />
But a few years ago, I fell on hard times for a while. Things got bad enough I thought I might need some government assistance to survive. As it turned out, I didn't even qualify for assistance. What I did qualify for was a change of heart. And unknowingly, some other people who had also fallen on hard times, gave me one.<br />
<br />
I deal with things by writing about them. Seldom does it come out as poetry. This time it did. Here's a rare glimpse of me raw; real; human.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 20pt;"><span style="color: lime;">The Least of These</span></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: lime;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif"; font-size: 14pt;">(A Lesson from the Welfare Line)</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"></span></b></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">By: Chris Tatum</span></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">I stood in line with my lay-off letter</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">In my Calvin Kleins and a J-Crew sweater</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">And made up my mind that I was better than the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">best </i>of these.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Then I saw a man:</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">He hadn’t combed his hair in a day or two</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">And his breath clung to him like a case of brew.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Masking tape and a paper sack, it</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Covered the holes in his leather jacket.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">As he walked away in his tattered clothes</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">I held my breath and pinched my nose</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Thinking he’s exactly what I thought I’d find</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Waiting here in the welfare line.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Then I saw a mom:</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">In a pink sweat suit, a Hispanic lady</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Hummed a lullaby to her brown-skinned baby.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">I stared at her<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- hoped she wouldn’t notice.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Her<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>smile said ‘hi’ but her eyes said hopeless.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">It<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wasn’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>long til my imagination</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Started sizing up her situation.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">The father must have been a one night stand.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Her poor baby doesn’t stand a chance.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">All around that room where no curtains hung,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">People talked of better times to come;</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">About the President’s economic plan</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">I was sure none of them could understand.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">No wonder, I figured, these folks are in need.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Most prob’ly never got their GED</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">These loser men and their loser wives</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">No, I can’t relate to their loser lives.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Then in a lonely corner I saw a lonely man</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">A phone to his ear, a letter in hand</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Trying hard to look like he didn’t belong,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Like his life was perfect, like nothing was wrong.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">As I looked a little closer I could clearly see</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">That lonely man was a lonely me</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">In a room full of angels sent from above;</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">God’s messengers of mercy to show me His love.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">And as I stood in line with my lay-off letter</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">In my Calvin Kleins and a J-Crew Sweater</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">I realized that I’m NO better than the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">least </i>of these…</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">For I am the least of these.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div></div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-81605794538649818362011-02-01T10:52:00.015-06:002011-02-02T12:17:08.974-06:00The Legend of Lea Morningwood (An Intern Tail)<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"> The first time I laid eyes on her, I heard voices… well really just one voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was strong and authoritative with a soft, soothing undertone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It told me to steer clear of her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a reporter at a Birmingham, Alabama television station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a college student who had joined our team for a few weeks as an intern. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To this day I can’t concretely say why I didn’t like her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose it could be that she rubbed me the wrong way by rubbing against everybody but me. But looking<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>back, I think I would rather have made love to a sheet of sandpaper than to have felt any friction from her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever the reason for my dislike of her, it was genuine.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure she was pretty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it was obvious to me she thought her good looks would swing wide the very doors it had taken me years of hard work to barely crack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seemed smart until she batted her eyelashes at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She batted them at every male reporter at the station and a few of them quickly took a likening to her. Perhaps you can now see why this story is more An Intern Tail, than a tale.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen her type before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She thought the concepts of hard work and “paying dues” applied to everyone else. Success would come easy to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She would ascend to a big time TV reporter gig on the backs of all who taught her the ropes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only recall one time when I saw her display any skill remotely related to reporting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I overheard her recounting details to her fellow female interns about some quality time she had spent with another reporter outside of work.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh my gosh,” she giggled to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s like we connected spiritually.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took that to mean they laid hands on each other and spoke in tongues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should know that when TV reporters look for jobs, in addition to our resume we also send demonstration tapes of work we’ve done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Potential bosses don’t want to just read about where we’ve worked and what we’ve done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That tape lets them see how well we do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The purpose of an internship is to give college students an up close look at our business and to provide them an opportunity to put their first resume tape together to help them land that first job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sensed this intern planned to convince – no, connive -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>someone to help with her tape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Sure </span>she planned to pay them… with nature’s credit card.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I managed to avoid directly working with her for nearly her entire internship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then one day she cornered me for conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh shit!” I thought as I plastered on a plastic smile and prepared to fake enthusiasm.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Chris, I heard a rumor <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(that’s never a good way to start a conversation) </i>that Tatum is not your real last name… that you changed your name for TV.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Was this a question or a statement?” I wondered, determined not to confirm or deny anything from the rumor mill.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“So I was wondering if you think I should change my name.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Uh<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">-oh!” I thought, as my mind scanned millions of megabytes of memory trying to remember her name. </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well, um… what is your name?” I finally had to ask.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Lea Wood.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that moment, face to face and eye to eye with her I again heard voices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first one was kind and familiar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recognized it as the same voice that had warned me to steer clear of her when we’d first met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Don’t do it!” the voice cautioned, almost to the point of alarm.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the other voice was much deeper; much darker; much more sinister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a devilishly delicious tone to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I could stop myself I had fallen under its spell.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Lea Wood,” I repeated back to her, then sounded it out slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Lea Wooood.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could tell she felt a bit cocky that she had broken my ability to avoid her any longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was still under the spell of that sinister voice.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I think Lea Wood is a great base name,” I told her, already laughing on the inside at what I was about to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No, you shouldn’t change it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just enhance it a bit.”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What do you mean?</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I don’t know,” I said, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>acting like I was in serious thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You want to make it <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>memorable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know… something like… Lea <em>Morning</em>wood.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely she could see through such a thinly veiled reference to a hard dick.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Lea Mornngwood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wood.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She kept sounding it aloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I like it!”</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my defense, I figured she would <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>eventually tell the other interns about her new TV name <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I was counting one of them to explain the meaning of “Morningwood.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t think about it again until I was leaving work one evening and my boss stopped me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mr. Tatum, let’s talk for a minute,” he called down the hall.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stepped into his office and sat down in the chair that faced his desk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had endured many an ass chewing in this chair over the years and now couldn’t help but notice how comfortably it cradled the contour of my ass.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My boss handed me a VHS tape and I gasped as I read the name emblazoned in red, capital letters across its spine:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="color: red;">LEA MORNINGWOOD</span></span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t bore you with details of that particular ass-chewing although I must say that as ass-chewings go, it was monumental. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit I felt a little bad when my boss told me this poor girl had sent tapes bearing the name Lea Morningwood <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to TV stations all over the country and that there was even a TV industry chat room that had been abuzz about her nasty name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact remains that Lea Wood had set out to make a name for herself in TV news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I like to think that with my help she sort of did: </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lea <em>Morning</em>wood.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As fate would ultimately have it, Lea Wood married money and now lives the kind of life most reporters can only dream of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She never worked a day in TV news.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the legendary story of the rise and fall of Lea Morningwood lives on at that Birmingham TV station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And always will, knock wood.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-63193686282829439832011-01-31T00:22:00.013-06:002011-01-31T09:11:48.030-06:00Making "Deadline" (My Acting Debut Review)<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They say art imitates life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of days ago I got to put that old adage to the test when I visited the set of – and made my acting debut<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a movie called Deadline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the title hints, it’s main characters are reporters.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not long after stepping onto the set – without much fanfare I might add - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spotted a handsome, 30ish gentleman a few yards away whose presence was creating a bit of a stir.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"> “Who’s that?” I asked someone associated with the production company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"> “That’s Steve Talley,” she replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“He’s the star of this movie.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Reality check 1,” I mentally noted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“While the mention of my name may stir a slight ripple in this small pond called Middle Tennessee, by Hollywood standards, I’m one of those little fish you throw back."</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You mean I’m not the star?” I asked aloud, kind of joking but not really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That question went unanswered.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Reality check 2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BEING a reporter and PLAYING a reporter are apparently not equal by Hollywood standards.”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";">There were hundreds of “extras” standing around, hoping to get their chance to appear in a scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since most of them knew me from the news, I tried to play up my small part in the movie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I claimed to have a dressing room and had already picked out a tree I could hide behind if I really needed one. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course Steve Talley and his co-star Eric Roberts had real dressing rooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose in that case, art does imitate life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve never worked for a TV station that gave me a dressing room, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve often had to cake my make-up on using our news truck’s headlights to illuminate the tiny compact mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there are other similarities between making the movie, Deadline and making deadline each day with a news story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like those “extras,” real reporters sometimes spend hours waiting for something to happen only to have it all break at the last minute when they have to fight the clock to make it matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And just like the actors, TV reporters seldom get it right in one take.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do the same thing over and over and over again until we’re satisfied with the way it looks and sounds.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The day on the set wore on and I was still awaiting the big moment to tape my short scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas it came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And here’s how it went:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="color: lime;">Picture it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amos, Alabama, a fictional town<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>staged in rural Tennessee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a group of protesters march along a street in downtown Amos, they walk past me, a TV news reporter as I'm conducting a live interview with one of the protesters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> As the man I'm interviewing steps away to join the march, </span>I turn to face the camera (not the one shooting this scene, but the pretend one on somebody’s <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shoulder<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> so that my role looks </span>real) and continue my report, gesturing and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">acting</i> like I know what I’m talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sounds like what you’d expect of a real TV news reporter, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WRONG!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The real star of that scene wasn’t me at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was – you guessed it – Steve Talley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The microphone was near him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> T</span>hat important report I was delivering WAS MIMED!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a sound was coming out of my mouth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Steve Talley and Eric Roberts play the reporters with voices... newspaper reporters... with voices. Hooray for Hollywood!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj9-jjkoPRv00PCs-Fza02tWdqgP-EA0l0ZRuLOI7g07A6GUZlj9KzTRrx94QfRJJOpC7dbVzO-9518zr1TZOCJouHBPXq0lOQnEUIl8Y4TFiGVMMYUifQGj2jHGBHbJYxDmAnAOJSyGUS/s1600/on+set.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj9-jjkoPRv00PCs-Fza02tWdqgP-EA0l0ZRuLOI7g07A6GUZlj9KzTRrx94QfRJJOpC7dbVzO-9518zr1TZOCJouHBPXq0lOQnEUIl8Y4TFiGVMMYUifQGj2jHGBHbJYxDmAnAOJSyGUS/s320/on+set.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong> Eric Roberts; Me; Steve Talley chillin' on the set of Deadline</strong></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"> Don’t get me wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not bitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all have to start somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Steve Talley and Eric Roberts are great guys who treated me as an equal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a forever fan of both them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose the title of this movie is where art most imitates my life: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deadline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every <em>real</em> reporter can relate to those.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", "serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a serious note, The folks at Filmhouse - the production company - were also gracious to me. I hope you will go see Deadline when it hits theaters next spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.deadlinefilm.com/">Click here to learn more about Deadline.</a></span></div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-19139671818772169842011-01-28T10:23:00.000-06:002011-01-30T10:09:15.937-06:00Scholars and Scents (A College Introduction to Aroma Therapy) 614 West Street was by no means the ugliest house along that short, stumpy stretch of pavement in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. But for two of the three college students who called it home, it might damn well may have been the smelliest. It was rank enough to make me grateful for a typical Middle Tennessee Allergy Season that would seal my sinuses shut for a couple of days.<br />
<br />
To the best of my recollection, the stench never drifted beyond the dull, grey siding on the outside walls (well, there was that one “oh shit” event when sewage backed up in our front yard but that's another story) except when its source left the house and carried some of it with him in the form of body odor. Yes, somebody at that address could’ve benefitted from a box of 20 Mule Team Borax although I suspect even those barnyard beasts would've fought to stay downwind. <br />
<br />
Talking; shouting; begging; cursing; even threatening had failed. Little did I know I was about to learn a powerful new technique of bullshitting I now call the “Fall On The Sword” method… a method that finally made the difference. <br />
<br />
Tracey and I had become good friends and shared that three bedroom, off-campus rental house with a third roommate named Steve. Tracey and I were older - what are usually called non-traditional students. We liked order and insisted on keeping a clean house. Steve, on the other hand, was a typical twenty-two year old who - while he might miss the occasional morning class - wasn't willing to miss a party. Make no mistake; Steve was intelligent. But for every inch of intellect he possessed, you could subtract two inches of common sense. <br />
<br />
Our problem didn’t fully reveal itself until several months after Steve moved in. Sure we noticed his room was a wreck and neither of us could recall seeing him do his laundry… and yes, there always seemed to be a stack of his dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. But the problem – I mean the real, aromatic problem – just kind of grew quietly until one day, out of the blue it unmasked itself in the form of indescribable stink. <br />
<br />
Tracey and I could no longer ignore it. But if Steve didn’t respect himself enough to wash his body then how in hell might we convince him to respect us enough to wash a dirty dish? At his boiling point, Tracey called a “house meeting” one evening when we all got home from work.<br />
<br />
I had picked up Steve’s scent from the far end of the house when I got home that night so I straddled my narrow ass on the arm of a chair as far away from him as I could park it. I wanted to rip him a new one but that would’ve required me to get too close to the one he already had. Besides, Tracey called this meeting and as hard as it might be to believe, he could sometimes be more temperamental than me. Yes, really.<br />
<br />
Tracey came and sat in the chair whose arm I occupied and I braced myself for the blistering tirade he was about to unleash on Steve.<br />
<br />
“Steve,” Tracey began politely.<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “Ah, he’s just buttering him up,” I assured myself. “He’ll go for the jugular in a moment.”</i><br />
<br />
“Chris,” he then said.<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “Oh shit, he’s chickening out and wants me to do it,” </i><br />
<br />
“I owe both of you guys an apology.”<br />
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What did he say?”</i><br />
<br />
“Guys, this house freakin’ stinks and it’s my fault,” he continued. “I’ve been so busy with school I haven’t been keeping up with my household duties. I’m the reason you guys can barely stomach walking in here every day.”<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What? I’ve watched you wash your dishes,” I thought to myself. “And you’re waaaayyy too metrosexual to wear dirty clothes.” </i><br />
<br />
Tracey hung his head as if he was ashamed.<br />
<br />
“That is such bullshit!” I snapped.<br />
<br />
“Shut up, Chris!” Tracey snapped back. He then flashed me a quick wink that Steve didn’t see.<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “What the hell is going on here?”</i><br />
<br />
“Guys, I’m staying home this weekend and I’m cleaning this house top to bottom… I mean everything.”<br />
<br />
“Tracey, you don’t have to...”<br />
<br />
“Shut! Up! Chris!”<br />
<br />
Still not taking his cue to keep quiet, I retorted “this stinking-ass house is not your fault. If you’re wasting your weekend cleaning it, so am I.”<br />
<br />
“Me, too,” Steve politely chimed in.<br />
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Okay, what just happened?” I wondered, not yet knowing the maginitude of this moment where Tracey's and my sanity was concerned.</i><br />
Tracey got up from his chair and walked to the kitchen. He emptied the sink full of dirty, some of them sour-smelling dishes, then turned the hot and cold knobs to set the temperature for dishwater. As the suds rose, he began scrubbing those nasty dishes. He knew he didn’t dirty them. We both knew Steve had. And we both knew those dirty dishes were not the only source of stink that haunted our house. <br />
<br />
But somehow Tracey had figured out something I hadn’t. He knew by washing those dishes, Steve would feel embarrassed for not upholding his end of household responsibilities. And he knew if we all cleaned the house from top to bottom and it still stank, the source of the smell would be easy to trace. Steve knew it, too.<br />
<br />
That night, while Tracey washed those dishes, Steve took a long-overdue shower. I can’t say that he, soap and water became best friends but at least from that evening on they were acquainted. <br />
<br />
True to our word, the following weekend we all cleaned house. Steve even stripped his bed and washed his sheets. And I cannot recall another day that he didn’t clean up after himself. He may not have wanted to but he knew he had to. Tracey shamed him into it by falling on the sword. <br />
<br />
<strong> And the moral of the story is: If it smells too good to be <em>you</em>, it probably is!</strong>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-55912047353932111452011-01-27T11:16:00.001-06:002011-02-02T22:15:39.452-06:00BS 2: How to Treat Acute Dumbass (An Intern Tale)<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> There’s an old adage I’ve seen proven countless times:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Nothing brings people together like a common enemy.”</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all like to relate to others; to find common ground with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes us feel less ordinary, enhances our self esteem and brings forth a greater level of confidence in us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the business of BS, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I call this the “Common Ground” method.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While working at WSMV TV from 2006 – 2008, I bore the bold title, Problem Solver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Viewers called me, e-mailed me or sent me long letters explaining how they had been ripped off by a business or how, despite their numerous complaints, a government agency had turned a blind eye to their problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was my job to verify the validity of the problem and once verified, go confront the business or agency – camera rolling – and persuade (a nice word for strong-arm) it to fix the problem. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ultimately all this would play out on TV and I would take all the credit as the hero who saved the day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can imagine the hundreds of calls, emails and letters I received each week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took that kind of response to mean my Problem Solver segment was successful and decided to use it as leverage to ask my boss for some help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It did, after all, take a lot of time to shuffle through the massive pile of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>requests for my services.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted – no, I NEEDED – an assistant. One day <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bounced into my boss’ office to say so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That conversation went something like this:</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Tatum:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m overwhelmed with the number of people who need my help.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Boss:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should be proud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It shows people like what you’re <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">d</span>oing.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><em>(Yes, he is a master Bull shitter, too)</em></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Tatum:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aha! You just admitted my segment is successful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means it’s making money for the station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>(notice I tried to hang him with his own words).</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll bet it would become even more successful -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>generate even more money - if you’d hire me some help… an assistant…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>even just part time.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Boss:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No!</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Tatum:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would think you’d want my segment to become more successful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>(Two <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>professional bull shitters going head to head.)</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please, at least think about it.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">Boss:</span></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t need to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will assign an intern to help you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll pick one for you and they’ll start tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An intern? That was the best solution he could come up with? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh well, at least he offered a solution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really had no further argument at this point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Actually I did but my gut (and his body language) told me now was not the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For once I listened.)</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Fine!” I snapped, and stomped out of his office wondering how anyone so cheap could run a newsroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rest assured, if that conversation didn’t prove he was a tight wad, my salary did.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next day a blond-haired girl approached me at my desk and informed me she would work alongside me for the rest of the semester.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quickly sized her up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Young, pretty, wants to be an anchor, probably a sorority girl who thinks she’ll build a brilliant TV career with her looks.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The biggest responsibility you’ll have each day is to log my Problem Solver phone line,” I explained as I jotted down the password to access it.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Okaaaaaay,” she replied, stretching six or seven syllables out of a word that needed only two.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I showed her how to log the phone line, where to type the extensive notes I’d need and she leapt right into her new assignment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hmmm, this might actually work,” I thought to myself as I began tapping on my keyboard, the script for my story that would air that day.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I arrived at work an hour early the next morning</span>, eager to sift through the notes she’d taken, to choose which problems I would tackle the following week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I logged on and clicked the icon that would take me to a file titled “Tips.”</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What the hell?” my mind screamed before my vocal cords could muster a mumble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The intern had logged the callers’ names and summed up their problems in short blurbs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t even put them in complete sentences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> “Sally Jones… Paid cable bill - disconnected.</b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> Steve Thompson… Moving truck damaged house.”</b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed more information than that to even consider tackling someone’s problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This intern left out phone numbers and didn’t mention any documents that callers might have had to support their claims against these companies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even worse, as she logged each call she had deleted it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless those people called back, I would have no way of helping them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“An intern, huh?” I wanted to scream at my boss.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat at my desk and stewed in my self-righteousness for a couple of hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to convince myself that this buxom blond might be dyslexic or have ADHD but I couldn’t get past my initial diagnosis of her problem:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>Acute</em> Dumbass.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually my frustration – alright, anger – began to subside and I started to realize – REALLY REALIZE - I had to make this work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, I did need help.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the intern arrived at work - perky, pleasant and ready to perform, I had simmered down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her to pull up a chair next to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I must say, you’ve impressed me with the way you logged these notes,” I told her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You summed them up into very succinct statements.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, in TV we write very tight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to say a lot with very few words,” I explained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You are way ahead of most interns who come through here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heck, you’re ahead of where I was when I was an intern.”</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her blue eyes now beamed as she brushed her blond bangs out of her face.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You’ve got a bright future ahead of you in TV.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could have made the mistake of telling her what a lousy job she’d done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But by reminding her that I, too, was once an intern, I no longer seemed like such a domineering force for her to reckon with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was by no means the brightest intern at the station that semester.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But once I made her feel like we were on common ground, we connected differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly the door was opened for me to politely explain why the information she had omitted <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in her notes was critical for me to assess people’s problems and how gathering even the most menial details would one day make her a sharper, more focused reporter and anchor.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From that day forward, I always had the details I needed to do my job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that intern has since graduated and gone on to become a TV news reporter with a bright future.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turns out, my boss was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That intern made my job much easier… So much easier, I hated to see her go at the end of the semester.</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FOOT NOTE:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><em>Acute </em>dumbass is now a cute anchor in another city, making far more money than me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2797313217335423263.post-53603414781701960912011-01-26T12:19:00.000-06:002011-01-26T16:01:12.971-06:00The One Book B.S. Degree<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <strong><span style="color: blue;">One of the most crucial skills of a TV news reporter is knowing how to BS. For the next few weeks I thought I'd share some examples of how TO... and how NOT TO BS. </span></strong></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: blue; mso-spacerun: yes;"><strong>We'll start with something I call the "Distribute the Power" method. This happened to me about 10 years ago:</strong></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stood impatiently in the long line at Nashville Electric Service and quickly decided I didn’t fit into this festival of freaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a woman wearing a halter top she was about to pop out of (if you know what I mean), with two snotty-nosed children who whined incessantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another, rather large woman sat in one of those motorized chairs, gossiping with what I presumed to be her adult daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As she zigzagged through the maze of ropes set up to herd people to the counter, I wondered if she might roll over someone’s toe and worried it might be mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The men, many of them in dirty work shirts, had apparently stopped by on their lunch breaks to pay their past due bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite my certainty that I was the only sophisticated island in what appeared at the moment to be an ocean of rednecks, there I was in the same (bass) boat as them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">None of us</i> had paid our past due electric bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All of us</i> held cut-off notices in our hands and were desperate to keep the current coming to our houses.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When people finally reached the counter there wasn’t much privacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The clerk sat behind a thick wall of glass and talked through a small hole about three inches wide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason, that made people on my side of the counter feel they had to speak louder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of them even shouted to ensure the clerk heard them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of us could hear them, too… excuse after lame excuse about why they hadn’t paid their bill; why they couldn’t afford to pay the minimum amount needed to keep their electricity on; and why Nashville Electric Service should make an exception for them until they could pay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One man insisted his wife had mailed their payment and that NES just hadn’t yet received the check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mam,” he said, “the check should be here any time.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m sorry,” explained the obviously weary clerk who by now must have heard every imaginable excuse known to humankind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“If $96.32 isn’t posted to your account by the time this office closes today, we will have to interrupt your service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much can you pay, today?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I can’t pay anything today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t get paid until Friday.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well sir, you must pay $96.32 to keep your service connected.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The line had grown even longer and everyone was becoming impatient with this man’s endless excuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never mind that most of us would present similar unbelievable stories when we finally reached the front of the line which by now seemed akin to climbing <place w:st="on">Mount Everest</place>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mam, I don’t have the money to pay anything today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you give me till Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s just two days, Mam.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Sir, why don’t you write me a check for the amount your wife sent the payment for,” she offered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And I will note your account so that when we receive <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her</i> check we won’t deposit it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mam,” he snapped, clearly agitated now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I just told you, I don’t get paid till Friday.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I understand sir, but if your wife mailed a check and we’ve yet to receive it, the money should still be in your account, right?” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUSTED!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You could feel a sort of tension start at the head of the line and snake its way back, setting the butterflies aflutter in all our stomachs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As that man stomped away from the counter, firing off a machine gun round of obscenities, a hush fell on the busy room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone was obviously thinking of how to polish up their own turd of a tale in hopes the clerk wouldn’t see through it as easily as she’d seen through his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“May I help the next person in line,” the clerk called.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet another nervous soul, desperate to avoid the impending darkness stepped to the counter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And on it went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On and on and on…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A woman claimed she paid her bill at that very counter the week before and that NES obviously had an accounting problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The way ya’ll screw up, no wonder this line is so long,” she snarled.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another woman, immaculately dressed and sure to impress the clerk, I figured, claimed someone had burglarized her house recently.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I had the money for all my bills laid out on the dining table and they stole every penny of it.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’m sorry to hear that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The clerk softly smiled at her before offering a solution. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll tell you what, Mam,” she suggested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Bring us a copy of the police report and I can hold your account a few more days until you can come up with the money.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What police report,” the woman asked.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another one BUSTED!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That woman may have dressed smartly but smart she clearly wasn’t!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I inched closer to the front of the line, I began to realize something about the clerk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All day people pushed her buttons, lied to her and treated her like she was personally responsible for their misfortune.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I started to wonder what her life must be like away from work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll bet she has children,” I mentally assumed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I probably make more money than she does and don’t take near as much lip for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t make the rules about when to cut off someone’s electricity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She simply has to enforce them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then and there I decided, that when I took my position at that head of the line, I was going to treat her like a heroine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather than blame her for not bending the rules in my favor, I vowed I would make her feel like she had the power to help me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“May I help the next person in line?” the clerk called.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there I was, face to face with her, hoping not to look as stupid as the dozens of dumb asses she’d dealt with before me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Good afternoon.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I plastered my best plastic smile across my flush face and hoped I didn’t look as desperate as I felt.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Name?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Chris Tatum”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s the address on your account, Mr. Tatum?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She studied her computer screen for several seconds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Mr. Tatum, I show your account is 60 days past due,” she said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How can I help you today?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well mam, I knew I was late with this month’s bill,”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I explained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But I didn’t realize I hadn’t paid last month’s either.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Money had been tight for a few months at my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wondered if she could tell I was lying.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her silence made me even more jittery as she continued to study my account on her screen.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Bless your heart,” I suddenly blurted out, even surprising myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I would not want your job.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Where the hell did that come from???</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You have the patience of Job,” I said, hoping to make sense of my last utterance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I can’t believe people think they have the right to speak to you the way they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re just doing your job.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“This is a good day,” she said, looking up and actually smiling at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You wouldn’t believe the names I’ve been called.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the language people use these days.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I would’ve lost my cool long ago,” I told her.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I just say a prayer every morning before we open,” she explained, still smiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I ask God to help me not to take it personally when people talk to me that way.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could tell she was glad, if only for a couple of minutes, that someone had shown her compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I wasn’t feeling that compassionate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just didn’t want my electricity turned off.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“This cut-off notice says I have until the end of the day to pay the past due amount.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t get paid until Friday, Mam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there anything you can to do help me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to put the power in her hands.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, she studied her screen a moment.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You say you get paid Friday, Mr. Tatum?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was so pleasant now that it was as if a new person – someone who hadn’t endured the headaches I had personally watched her endure – had<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sat down on the other side of the glass.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What time can you pay on Friday?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“First thing Friday morning,” I replied, sensing she might be about to work with me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll tell you what, Mr. Tatum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll put a note on your account that you’ll pay first thing Friday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That way they won’t disconnect your service before then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have a nice day.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thanked her and turned to walk away, still stunned at how I had managed to do what everyone in line ahead of me couldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had convinced the woman who had seemed calloused to countless other customers, to make an exception for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have the chance to pay my electric bill before they cut me off despite the fact that it was already two months past due.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By making that woman feel she had the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">power</i> to help me, I avoided a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">power outage</i> at home.</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"></div>Chris Tatumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09326456879259197008noreply@blogger.com4